Sunday, May 25, 2014

You Know You’re Cabin Crew When

You Know You’re Cabin Crew When

By: confessionsofatrolleydolly

Hilarious points that are soooo TRUE and so damn funny, if you would like to read more of these check them out here:

 You know you’re Cabin crew when

  • You constantly say please and thank you after ever sentence, with a fake smile plastered right across your face.

  • You put your cabin shoes on to do the hoovering, cooking, ironing, washing-up, cleaning etc.

  • When you eat all your meals behind a curtain, stood up, or sat on top of a box in the corner of the room.

  • You answer your phone saying, “Hi, it’s me at doors……..”.

  • The doorbell goes at home and you automatically look to the ceiling to see where that bloody call bell has just gone off.

  • You get on a bus or train and you have to stop yourself from telling people to put their bags under the seat in front. STOP IT! You’re not in work now

  • When you can apply lipstick and make-up perfectly, without a mirror and without going over the edges, boys too.

  • You are officially a geek and see airport codes in car registration plates.

  • When traveling as a passenger you un-cross your legs, adopt your landing position and carry out a 30 second review when the plane comes in to land, just in case.

  • NOTHING shocks or surprises you anymore, no matter what people do.

  • All of your pens have different hotel names on them, but you still hate lending them to a passenger.

  • When you try to put the break on your shopping trolley, then curse it because you think you’ve got ANOTHER dodgy trolley, then you realize that actually, you’re in the supermarket and not onboard an aircraft.

  • You are an expert at walking down the aisle at break-neck speed, without making eye contact with a single passenger.

  • You stand at doorways like an idiot saying “Buh-bye. Thank you. Have a nice day”.

  • The polyester is off for a week and your sat on a plane, going on a well earned holiday; yet you can’t stop yourself from looking up, every time a damn call bell goes off.

  • You lock your front door and get someone to cross-check it.

  • A workmen comes to your house and you tell them where the toilets are and serve them tea or coffee on a tray.

  • You refer to cities using their airport codes, which becomes very confusing for family and friends who are not in the industry. “Where the hell is SXF???”.

  • You can’t sleep and insomnia becomes a fact of life.

  • You make yourself aware of the nearest exits and how they work, wherever you are.

  • When you ask your mate in a pub if they want a drink then follow it up with, “Ice and lemon with that?”.

  • You discover bruises where you never knew bruises could appear and wonder how the hell they got there?

  • You can pack a suitcase in two minutes flat.

  • You are excellent at multi tasking.

  • When friends come round for dinner and all you offer them is ‘chicken or beef?’.

  • You look for the latches on your kitchen cupboards.

  • You give people directions like you’re pointing out the exits.

  • You constantly live out of your suitcase..

  • When you’re onboard a flight and you dare not touch the call bell for fear of that icy stare from another crew member like the one you give to passengers, on your flights, when they dare to press it.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Cabin Crew Interview: Life of a flight attendant


Is it a glamorous job or not?

The flying part isn’t glamorous in the slightest – it’s hard work and you have permanent jet-lag.  However, on the flip-side, when you get to spend your layovers in five star hotels in interesting and exciting places all over the world, then yes, it certainly had its moments.

But you get lots of time off don’t you?

For safety reasons, there are strict regulations as to how many hours you can work, so I was probably flying for two weeks out of every month.

You mention safety – I assume this is a key aspect of your training?

Very much so.  As well as the passenger comfort and promoting the airline’s reputation, our key role was keeping our passengers safe.

So cabin crew will remain cool, calm and collected in an emergency then?

I’d like to think I would have done, but you can never tell till it happens.  I certainly know of some of my colleagues who between them were scared of going down the emergency slides, got claustrophobia in the smoke hoods and some could barely swim.  

On my first flight, I was sitting next to the over-wing emergency exits with a similarly inexperienced crew-member on the other side of the plane, and we both realised more or less simultaneously, that neither of us had the first clue how to the open the doors.  Our training planes had been rather different but fortunately, our ignorance wasn’t tested.

Did you often encounter troublesome passengers?

Very infrequently.  In my experience, it is alcohol which causes the most problems on planes.  I did have to restrain a drunk passenger once, employing the highly technical martial art technique of sitting on him and shouting for help.  

Any tricks for placating the enthusiastic boozer?

Putting mixers in first and floating a splash of alcohol on top so the first mouthful feels like a deceptively strong drink.  To be honest, it wasn’t often an issue since the people that drink heavily tend to fall asleep after a while.

Any hairy moments when flying?

Not as cabin crew, no.  All the oxygen masks fell out during one flight after the First Officer made a mistake, and the ground crew in Lusaka couldn’t get them back in so we had to fly for hours with these things dangling around.  The only other nervy moments were when Captains forgot how many “dings” on the intercom meant what.  We used to get some who would inadvertently signal that there was a major incident onboard the plane, and that would always get the heart-rate going a little.

Do you get to choose which part of the plane you work in?

This usually comes down to seniority – the more senior you are, the first pick you get.  

I assume First Class with the supermodels and A-listers is where everyone wants to be and not with us plebs at the back?

Yes and no.  First Class passengers were sometimes extremely demanding since they (or more likely their company) had paid a lot of money for the ticket, and they were determined to get their money’s worth.  Economy class passengers on long haul flights were generally quite a cheerful bunch since they were resigned to their fate.

Do cabin crew do any of the cooking onboard or is it all pre-prepared food which is reheated?

Mostly it was the latter but we did make the odd thing.  Scrambled eggs in First Class were made to order and I can recommend adding champagne to make them light and fluffy.  It never occurred to me that some people do not drink alcohol for health or religious reason.

Are there any good perks to being cabin crew?

We sometimes got presents from First Class passengers – a member of the Saudi Royal Family gave us all Rolexes for example.  I was provided with a chauffeur to show me around by a super-rich Ghanaian chap whilst he was busy in two days of meetings.

More informative info related to the cabin crew job here:::